Finally, oh good
Did you notice that every time I put the normality in quotes? This is because the rule I’m talking about is not. This is the same norm, as if all people on Earth cut off one leg – then one-legged immediately starts to seem normal, because everyone has it. With psychological “normality” the story is exactly the same. With rare exceptions, we are all around – mental disabilities of varying degrees, who have agreed among themselves, to consider their disability a natural norm.
This is what introver looks like. So what’s up with “normal” introverts … Introvert men are those who are often called nerds. They usually have a humanitarian mindset, a tendency to avoid conflict and a desire for solitude. Introverts are passive and, rather, will wait for the right moment in ambush than go on the attack. In relationships with women, they are cautious and indecisive. They are looking for their “true love”, so that once and for all life. All passionately in love romance – introverts. All henpecked – introverts. All typical losers are introverts (but not all introverts are losers).
Read also the description of the type “man-husband” in the article Husbands and Lovers – two types of men.
In the case of introverts, their insecurity manifests itself in the most direct and obvious way – they constantly doubt the correctness of their decisions and actions. They are very afraid to make a mistake, and therefore prefer, in general, to avoid the need to act. They are shy and often do not know how to stand up for themselves. Their lack of self-confidence creates a lot of ridiculous mistakes and missteps, which adds even more self-doubt. Therefore, introverts try not to attract too much attention to themselves and not to get out of their shell. Familiar image?
Let me remind you – I continue to exaggerate, for clarity …
Where do these unfortunates come from? An important point! By itself, the psychological type – introversion or extroversion – is determined by something beyond our control. Jung, who proposed this typology, said that the predisposition of the psyche to one or another developmental variant manifests itself from the first years of life. So, education is not to blame.
Introversion itself is quite normal. Introverts have a lot of psychological advantages over extroverts. But their misfortune is that society requires extraverted behavior from men, which is extremely hard for introverts. From this, their problems with self-esteem double.
In addition, behind every “normal” introvert stands the main woman of his whole life – his mother. It is the mother who, with her excessive care and demandingness, makes a healthy introvert – “normal”. And, of course, this in a very definite way influences how he will develop relationships with women in the future.
When a “normal” introvert chooses a woman for himself, he essentially seeks to satisfy two needs. Firstly, he is looking for a woman who will replace his mother – he will make him feel loved, will give affection, love, tenderness and understanding. That is, everything that a child needs in childhood, and everything that he did not receive. Secondly, he, like an extrovert, will assert herself at the expense of the woman. But only from a different position. If an extrovert is openly proud of the cool aunt he grabbed for himself, then the introvert will quietly take comfort in the thought of what a cool aunt has chosen him. In fact, the introvert is looking for submission to a woman who will gratefully take power over him, but will not abuse this power.
Here, too, the psychological type determines the class of problems that a man will have to face in family relationships. A “normal” introvert very quickly becomes a henpecked (pole of “nothingness”). Since he initially sought to submission, the woman, without even noticing it, very quickly seizes power in the relationship. And then, inevitably, very unpleasant things follow. A woman feels deceived because her husband has become a child. Therefore, she begins to nag him – to criticize, demand and deprive him of her love. The man also feels deceived – he was looking for a replacement for one warder, and in return he received another one, even worse. They stop having sex and all their relationships, if they continue after that, boil down to a dull coexistence.
“On the side” in such a relationship will run exactly the wife. And the husband will stay at home and be jealous. But not from the point of view of her conjugal power, as extroverts do, but from the position of a little boy whom her mother left to give her love to another child.
So, why is a “normal” introvert family? Unlike an extrovert, he believes in “love.” But he does not realize that he is seeking the love of a mother for her child, and not the love of a woman for her man. And, as a result, gets into a mess. He marries in order to provide himself with a guaranteed influx of love, care and understanding from his chosen one, and instead receives on his head another dissatisfied mother.