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First of all, you need to remember that there is no “friendship”. That is, there are relationships between people that can be characterized in some way, and there is a…

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Why dating sites does not work?

Because they all do wrong!

No, they, of course, work – in the same sense in which probability theory promises that a flock of monkeys seated behind typewriters for a sufficiently long time will sooner or later write War and Peace, Divine Comedy and all other well-known fat books. On the well-known Mamba, probably, there are already 30 million users. And even if to discourage them all from meeting each other, hundreds of thousands would get acquainted, tens of thousands would drag each other to bed and thousands would marry each other.

If only dating sites had found a way to successfully monetize real-life meetings that had developed into further relations, then things would have gone! And as long as these sites earn money from the fact that users spend a lot of time on them and climb out of their way (that is, they pay money) in order to somehow stand out among many others, the dating of these sites is not so necessary. .

Or rather, they are needed, but only for promotional purposes – in order to maintain users’ faith in the possibility of a successful acquaintance. The majority of users should remain on the site, and for this it is much better that no serious relationship between them arises, because then they will leave and stop paying and / or watching ads.

Assuming that dating site administrators intentionally impede quality dating would be a conspiracy delusion. Of course, no one will do it on purpose. It’s about something else. The fact that the services that are primarily developed by the creators of these sites are far from being aimed at more effectively accomplishing their main declared task – dating.

If the same money and intellectual resources were spent by developers on somewhere to teach, and somewhere to make people find each other and effectively establish contact, then the effectiveness and quality of acquaintances could be raised at times. But all this is too complicated and pays off badly in the long run. The McDonald’s network in the commercial sense will always be more profitable than a single restaurant, even with the highest quality cuisine.

But the fact that developers and administrators of dating sites are not at all on the side of their users is only the starting point of all other problems. If they are there and hire psychologists as consultants for their projects, it is only to develop the best strategy for keeping users on the site. Because from a psychological point of view, instead of taking advantage of the virtual environment and helping the user overcome their difficulties in dating, they completely recreate and support the very social scenarios in which they have these difficulties.

Look at this absurd. User “A” is registered on the site, because in a normal life with acquaintances he somehow does not go well. Fills a typical (another problem!) Questionnaire, and fills it in the same style, which probably prevents him in regular dating. Then he begins to write and answer letters and again in his own style, which obviously does not work. And at the other end of the wire – the user “B” with the same problems and errors.

Is there any chance that these two people on the dating site will be able to make contact with each other that they could not have made in reality?

Yes, no chance! They dragged all of their problems and troubles to the site, and their only hope is that here they have the opportunity to play their stupid scenarios on a dozen people at once – maybe someone will bite.

Understandably, the fact that a person came to a dating site cannot change his psychology. No matter how you go around, he will persistently try to go the beaten path, which means, he will – consciously or not – repeat his most typical and gross mistakes. And here is the choice of the creator of the site. It is possible to build its structure and internal policy in such a way that each user is given the opportunity to ruin his “love career” in his own favorite way. Everyone, they say, is a blacksmith himself with his own happiness. But it would be possible to initially put users in such conditions when the old games would be impossible or, at least, would not be encouraged.

Elementary thing. All photos on dating sites are moderated. That is, specially trained people sit and view each picture for compliance with some conditions. Ok, they weed out poor-quality, alien and too candid photos. But they easily miss photos in which people use their skin to make it look fundamentally better than in real life. And in the end, the profile may not be a single photo in which it would really be seen how a person looks in life.

Why such a policy is clear. If we pursue mass character, then moderation should be the most benign. But if we were chasing the quality of dating, and not the number of users, then we should think about why a person wants to post a photo snag.

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