The classic type of male lover is don Juan or his anecdotal fellow lieutenant Rzhevsky. Bright extrovert-Lovelace, the conqueror of women’s hearts and ladies man. Gambling hunter who is fascinated by the process itself.
In relations with women, he seeks to take an active position, easily takes the initiative and is able to directly say what he wants. He is impudent precisely in the form that attracts women and allows them to shift the responsibility for intrigue to a man.
Narcissist, he is looking for opportunities to show off in his new acquaintances. He is more interested in the fact of victory over a woman, and not in a relationship with her. Whether his will – monogamy would have long been abolished in law.
Adventurer in a good and bad way. Always ready for adventure, reaching, sometimes, to pure madness. Aggressive, sometimes to the cruelty of a woman, and brutally sexy.
He can easily turn the head of a woman, interest and entice her. For him, it is natural and simple. But along with all his sexual attractiveness, he is completely unable to create a sense of peace and certainty in a woman. A woman with him always feels in danger, because she clearly feels that this man will never cease to be a hunter.
From the woman he needs consent and confirmation of his own importance. Therefore, he always climbs the ladder of “steepness” by conquering more and more bright and attractive women. And if it is impossible to develop qualitatively, then the number comes to the fore – even if women are not the most chic, but a lot. Thus, a male lover strengthens his shattered self-esteem, replacing the normal balance of self-esteem, with the number of his sexual victories (“Pride”).
But women, male lovers still like it, and even knowing their windy temper, they continue to succumb to their charms, in a vague hope to trap them and tame them.
Next to the “lover” a woman feels her sexual attractiveness better and takes her feminine vanity. The first time when a man is actively seeking her, the second is when he throws her, and she feels entitled to accuse the entire male sex of utterly incurable bastards.
A relationship with a male lover is always mutual acting out of pride. Formally, there may be no literal sexual relationship. But sex still hovers somewhere nearby.
Man – husband
The typical “husband” is a homely, obedient man. Quiet, calm introvert who chose peace with one woman instead of adventures with many. In the love triangle, he is always the victim of treason.
In relationships with women, he is sometimes ridiculously serious. In every woman he sees a potential wife, and therefore from the very first minutes he surrounds her with obsessive care and constantly seeks her approval and confirmation of her feelings for him.
By virtue of his excessive seriousness, he absolutely does not know how to flirt, does not feel a feminine mood and does not see feminine coquetry. Therefore, in a relationship, he finds himself in a passive position, waiting for the woman to take the first steps, or at least, clear instructions on what to do next.
“Husband” always tries to be a gentleman and considers the sublime attitude towards a woman to be her main advantage. He knows how to care and conquers women with his patience and constancy. Instead of passion and intrigue, he offers a woman love to the grave and the prospect of marriage.
But, for all that, he wants to receive from the woman the same thing as the “lover” – spiritual self-satisfaction. But only instead of a sexual victory over a woman, it is more important for him to win her love, for which he is even ready to be defeated. That is, here the relationship with a woman becomes a means to calm down some kind of heartache and disorder.
In the relationship, the husband is gentle, affectionate and romantic. He surrounds the woman with all-round care and is ready to fulfill every whim of her, just to get confirmation of her love. He is ready to obey the wishes of a woman, to the detriment of his own. It is predictable and manageable, and therefore creates a sense of reliability and security in a woman. And when a woman wants to make her nest, she is looking for exactly this type of relationship.
Instead, the “husband” wants to receive love and the full acceptance of the woman (“Nothingness”). In fact, in a woman, he is looking for a tender mother who will create the same feeling that he liked so much in his childhood. He easily changes his masculine freedom with the chance to shift the burden of responsibility onto the shoulders of the woman and get rid of the sense of inferiority.
Well, and at his best, easily creating a feeling of stability and certainty in a woman, he opens the way for motherhood for her. A loving, caring, homely man – what more does a woman need when it comes to creating a family?
As it was said at the beginning, a man does not choose who he is to be – a husband or a lover. As a rule, by the time of puberty, when the boy begins to take the first steps in relationships with girls.