Husbands and Lovers – male psychology
The subject of psychological types is wide and ambiguous. What a complicated system you don’t think up, there will always be plenty of counter-arguments and exceptional cases. And nevertheless, there is some benefit from typing – it gives you the opportunity to better embrace the whole, grouping the particular into several key categories. The main thing is to remember that any such scheme is a convention, a tool, and not an end in itself.
Personally, I like the simpler simple schemes that group types according to pronounced characteristic features. From the point of view of human diversity, they may seem rude, but, by doing so, they allow you to keep a sense of reality and not lose sight of a living person, in all his individuality.
One of these schemes, I will present to you in this article. It is simple and very effective – moderately serious, moderately ironic. Please treat her accordingly.
With all the seeming diversity, there are only two distinct strategies that men use in dealing with women. The nuances and accents may vary, due to individual life experience, but the overall track is always easily traced.
In fiction, theater and cinema, the theme of “husbands and lovers” is wonderfully illustrated by all sorts of variations of love triangles. But where the authors of the works focus on the play of feelings and the irony of fate, it can be noted that husbands and lovers differ from each other not only situationally, but also mentally. In fact, we are talking about the opposite types of male personality.
I draw your attention to the fact that hereinafter, “husbands” and “lovers” do not mean the official or actual status of a man with respect to a particular woman. We are talking only about the strategy that a man holds in relations with all his women. Also, it is important that the strategy is not the result of a conscious choice, but must follow from the psychological type of man.
So, all men, with rare exception, to whom attention will still be paid, can be divided into two types – “husbands” and “lovers”. The first, in relations with women, emphasize a serious long-term relationship, the second – an easy flirt, passion and adventurism.
If you have an idea about introverts and extroverts, then we can say that introverts implement the strategy of the “husband” and extroverts implement the strategy of the “lover”. In some specific situations, male extroverts find themselves in the role of a “husband” (this is not about status!), But introverts in the role of a “lover”, but this happens only in a relative sense. In the same way as of two introverts, one may be more, and the other less introverted.
Each of these types has its own characteristics, its own strengths and weaknesses, and among women – its own “target audience”. And we must understand that, as opposed to our own type, it is very important to have an idea about the second pole, since normal healthy relationships require acting out both roles. Without this, relationships become one-sided and quickly degenerate.