How to build and save healthy relationship
We briefly reviewed the theoretical issues of the relationship between men and women. Beginners refer to the already published articles: “Husbands and lovers are two types of men,” “What does a woman want?”, “Relationships need to be learned” and “What is true friendship.” I invite the rest to move from theory to practice.
Building relationships is a difficult process. It is very good when a man and a woman understand what is happening between them, and what internal processes are behind it. But not everyone can be a psychologist …
Therefore, let’s talk from a position that will be clear to everyone – imagine that we just want to preserve the freshness and joy of our relationship, and leave behind all the clever arguments about psychological health, personal development and the meaning of life.
In the above-mentioned articles, we have already said that many relationships are built on mutual emotional dependence and only interfere with the maturing of partners. In such a relationship, there is more harm than good, and fighting for them is dearer. But it also happens that really valuable and wonderful relationships, which could bring real happiness, are falling apart because of the most stupid and elementary mistakes.
We all want to meet such a person with whom you will not have to strain, with whom everything will be easy and simple, with which relations will develop in their turn to mutual pleasure. And when we meet a congenial person, we so want to relax and let go of the reins. After all, it seems that with a loved one, finally, you can be yourself and not make any more effort.
But this is where the derailed movement begins. Love alone is never enough. When emotions are raging, a decrease in the intensity of feelings a couple of degrees is not so noticeable. But later, when every day the temperature is getting closer to zero, it becomes unclear where the passion has gone, why the old touches no longer disturb the soul, why the person turns from the only thing in the world into the usual and ordinary.
Bonfire relationship burns through very quickly, if you do not take care of him. And unfortunately, the extinction of mutual interest is considered to be just as normal as the neurotic basis of many relationships. Therefore, people argue about how to return the relationship to the former brightness, and not about how to protect them from burning out. But to blow up a new fire from the ashes is almost impossible.
On the other hand, if you look after the fire – do not let the wood burn with full force and throw new ones from time to time – it can burn and warm with its heat for a long time.
The same with relationships. Although there will be closer analogy with an unstable chemical reaction. If you allow substances to interact too intensely, an explosion occurs. If the interaction is strongly restrained, the reaction simply fades away. And only when properly selected temperature and concentration of gold is obtained from lead.
The recommendations written below are psychological tools for managing the chemical reaction of relationships. Gold, in the end, may not work, but I hope they will help to get around the most blatant and destructive mistakes. Getting started.